I was driving in traffic, heading to my cousin’s wedding reception, and I was in tears. I just found out my (long distance relationship) girlfriend was two-timing me.
I arrived at my cousin’s wedding reception, and I saw my family, relatives and friends, happy all around me. But I was an emotional wreck. How did I get into such a dysfunctional, completely wrong and bad situation with that two-timing girl?
I was an emotional mess. I wasn’t at all weepy; I was quite the opposite—I simply did not care. I had a few more weeks of vacation left in Manila before flying back to the US, so there I was dating around with numerous girls, nothing serious. In fact I would still even see the two-timing girl and spend time with her, just for spite—and then, I’d spend time with another girl after. And then, another girl after that other girl. No commitments. Nothing serious. I did not see the purpose of “being serious” at that point.
A close friend then said he wanted to set me up on a blind date with his officemate. I told him, “Whatever. Sure.” So he set things up. The day of the date came, and I was annoyed. I was seeing one girl for drinks at 6 p.m., and then I’d meet my blind date at 7:30 pm. I wanted to cancel this blind date. My schedule was too busy, what a hassle, I found it pointless to meet “yet another girl”. My friend told me please do not cancel because the girl already went out of her way to arrange her schedule to meet me. I said, “Fine. Whatever.”
So I met this girl, Rosie. She was actually very OK. Rosie was very pretty, very smart and funny, and she’d always taunt me and say things like “So you think you’re some kind of hotshot just because you’re from New York?” She challenged me. I liked that.
Plus, I liked HER. She was a Scorpio. She was feisty, aggressive, an A-type personality. She was also VERY similar to the female protagonist in a novel I once wrote. The girl in my novel was also a Scorpio, and Rosie and she were very much alike.
In fact, I liked Rosie so much that, two weeks before I left for the US, I decided to tell her about my adoption story. So one evening, we went up to a hilltop venue overlooking the Manila skyline. As we sipped our drinks in our car, windows rolled down, city skyline before us, starry evening sky above, I told Rosie the story of how I was born.
There was a young woman, a student specializing in Piano at the conservatory. She went to a party, got drunk, high, or maybe she was drugged. That night was a blur for her, yet weeks later, what happened to her that night became very clear—she was pregnant.
The man who got her pregnant was gone by then; it was said he migrated to another country.
Her reply was, “Oh. I thought you were going to tell me you were that bad guy and you have a son.”
I laughed and said no that’s not how that story goes.
“So you’re adopted?” she asked.
I said yes.
“Have you ever met your biological mom?”
I said no.
She nodded. “Well—neither have I.”
At these words, something massive flashed in my mind! I momentarily got disoriented, I felt dizzy and faint, like suddenly for a split second I felt I lost myself or fell forward out of myself.
It was SO clear to me—those words I just heard. “NEITHER HAVE I”. I simply KNEW I heard those EXACT words from somewhere, sometime ago, from someone. And I also felt I would specifically HEAR those same words specifically spoken to me again one day. Was it a childhood memory, a dream, or wishful thinking? I don’t know; I cannot explain.
Or perhaps I was simply in shock. As I said, I do not know.
I then listened to Rosie tell me her own story. Her biological mom was a nursing student from a well-to-do family. The young student got pregnant and, like my own biological mother, could not take care of her child.
“So then, my mom went to an orphanage in Bulacan, and exactly on her own birthday, she gave birth to me, her baby girl. My mom and I were born on the same…”
“Bulacan?” I cut in, interrupting Rosie in mid-detail. “Are you also from the Heart of Mary Villa??”
Rosie paused and stared at me. And then—she fled from the car and began to weep. She was covering her mouth, crying, coughing, and was literally trying to catch her breath. Because YES—she was also from Heart of Mary Villa. Just like me.
I went back to the US a week later. I had a US Green Card application nearing completion, but I dropped it. I also dropped my job in Manhattan. My employer was furious. “Do you know how many people would KILL for what you’re getting, and you are just throwing it away?!?”
Two weeks later, right after I shipped my first Johnny Air Cargo box back to Manila, my employer called me and said, “I’m making you another offer, a really GOOD one. So STAY, okay?”
I smiled and told him goodbye.
I then returned home to Manila. Rosie and I got married a year later. Two years afterwards, Rosie gave birth to our daughter. Our little girl is then the very first blood relative Rosie and I have ever met.
One thing I have learned is that GOD HAS HIS TIME. I met Rosie at the worst possible emotional state I could be in (multiple girls, obviously on a rebound-relationship-hunt, seemingly completely incapable of caring or loving). But that is just ME—my mind, my heart, my timeline. It wasn’t God’s.
When God says “It’s time”—seriously, IT’S TIME. And it happens NOW—regardless of whether you think you’re ready or not.
Furthermore, people who hear our story usually say things like, “You are truly meant to be”, “you are a match made in Heaven”, “you are definitely Soul Mates” or such.
Yes, that’s obvious—TOO obvious. The circumstance of Rosie and I meeting are way beyond coincidence (even her Zodiac fits perfectly; it’s as if I knew of and WROTE about Rosie in my novel, way before I even met her).
But after several years of marriage, I still wonder, “What does THAT mean—being ‘Soul Mates’ ”, or “meant to be”? What is God’s plan for such a couple, of who seem so deliberately, even BLATANTLY “written in the stars”?
My marriage with Rosie has been very challenging. There were many times Rosie and I wanted to give up on “Us”, the marriage, the “match made in Heaven”.
When times were tough I’d even scream at God and say, “What the HELL should I do with your Rosie! That HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE GIFT of yours!” (Yes, I was seething!)
His answer was simple. “Love her.”
And God’s answer would infuriate me further! “LOVE her?! Are you INSANE, God?! You actually think I can LOVE someone like that?!?”
And again, His answer was simple. “Love her.”
“NO!” I’d scream at Him. “You think it’s so easy?! Then YOU go love her!”
And then, I’d feel His sadness. There was no condemnation on His end; I did not sense that God felt regretful or disappointed with me. I felt God’s pain, yet I also felt His acceptance, that He understood me, and that He accepted me despite how I was so viciously answering back to Him.
As I fumed in my hate, I’d somehow feel He was looking at me, His gaze sad, yet also completely understanding. And then, He would say once again, very gently and softly:
It took years for me to understand what God’s words “Love her” meant. I had to discover it. Rosie and I are doing so much better now, but we are still, and always will be, learning.
For instance, back then I didn’t understand that “Love her” also meant “Love yourself”. If I loved myself properly, I’d have “overflow”, of which in turn I could then use to love Rosie, too. Therefore, I realized that I didn’t just NOT love myself properly—deep inside (unconsciously!) I actually HATED myself! So I fixed that on my end. Fortunately for me, I listened to God’s advice—even if it seemed “too obvious”, when in fact His words were actually very, very deep:
Loving Rosie isn’t just all about Rosie, Jonathan. It’s all about YOU as well.
I still do not know the answer to the great WHY. Perhaps Rosie and I will never truly know what “Soul Mates” or being a “match made in Heaven” is really all about, at least not here on Earth. But these are small wins we have as we go through life together.
I am also highly aware that God gives me numerous little gifts, for example, a dream I had on December 26, 2015. The dream was extremely powerful.
I saw a young lady with long, sexy legs and orange short shorts going up a set of pure-white stairs, bright light, whiteness or clouds all around the stairs. Suddenly, I recognized the lady—her sexy legs, shapely hips, those very same orange short shorts. It was Rosie! I immediately called out to her, “ROSIE!” and was feeling so very happy seeing her there! (In Heaven? Or wherever I was…?) I then suddenly awoke—and immediately I felt/thought/heard God say to me, very directly:
“THIS IS HOW I FEEL.”
Immediately, I felt a powerful KNOWING, a RECOGNITION, an absolute TRUTH, followed by a massive flood of positive emotions that instantly brought me to uncontrollable tears of happiness. It was as if God was telling me HE KNOWS Rosie, HE LOVES Rosie, and that He knows that *I* KNOW Rosie, and that *I* LOVE Rosie SO MUCH, even if sometimes I seem to forget that.
“This is how I feel.” I KNOW her, Jonathan. I RECOGNIZE her. I am SO HAPPY to see her. I LOVE Rosie so much—just as YOU know her, Jonathan, you recognize her, you are so happy to see her, and YOU LOVE Rosie so much.
In closing, it is very easy to romanticize a “match made in Heaven”, or being “Soul Mates”. Rosie and I are humans, living right now on Earth. It so happened God gave Rosie and me an excessively (even absurdly!) obvious set of signs that Rosie and I are indeed a “match made in Heaven”.
But this does not exclude us from the world. Just like many other married couples, we at times suffer tremendously from our relationships, from our humanity.
Nonetheless, Rosie and I know God is here. For us, the proof is too powerful, too ridiculously obvious to disregard. Moreover, we have not only His obvious signs; we also receive His gifts. Sometimes these gifts are great; thank you God! But at other times, these gifts are painful, sometimes seemingly impossibly painful! But as time passes, and as we listen and learn, His gifts always end up so beautiful and so full of Great Meaning.